Dumb and Dumber in the Old Testament

There’s a series of metro and train commercials made by an Australian marketing team called “Dumb Ways to Die” that went viral and was expanded into a computer game. The main gist is to stay safe in obvious ways.

In the Old Testament, there are a lot of examples of dumb ways to provoke a God.

It doesn’t look good when you put your military captain on the front lines so you can have his wife. 2 Sam 11

You might cause others to wonder if you kill all your grandchildren, nieces and nephews. Athaliah kills all the royals except one when her own son dies. (2 Kings 11:1)

Normally, if you were hired to repair a sacred space like a temple, you wouldn’t pocket the cash and leave the work undone. The workers in Jehoash’s time had other plans. (2 Kings

12:5-8)

Normally you would want to revere God in the temple or at least be respectful in a sacred space. Ahaz defaces the temple. He cuts the legs off the temple laver (2 Kings 16:17).

Normally you would not want to start a civil war by taking the tribe next to you hostage especially if you both are God’s chosen people. Oded the prophet has to convince Israel to let the hostages from Judah go. (2 Chron 28:8-11)

Normally you would not want to divulge to your enemy how much is in your bank account. Hezekiah tells Babylonian messengers how much treasure he has in his temple. They come back and take it . (2 Kings 20:14-19)

You might not want to kill your son on an altar to a foreign god especially if you are the kings. Manasseh is not worried about facing the wrath his son’s mother. (2 Kings 21:6)

Normally you would accept the Egyptian kings advice and stay out of fight he has with someone else. King Josiah disguised himself so he could fight and he was killed by the archers. (2 Chron 35:20-25)

You might not be wise to burn the scroll of the prophet. Zedekiah thinks little of Jeremiah’s prophecies and thinks burning them will reduce their efficacy. (Jer 36:22-24) He also tries to fake repentance in Jeremiah 34.

Normally you would avoid robbing someone great. But robbing God? Who do you think you are? (Malachi 3:8-9)

There is truth in Proverbs 16:25 when it says, “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” Since love is the only rational act, each of these vignettes could be analyzed for their poor expression of love. Then the rational thing to do would be the opposite.

By Andrea M