Self Validation is Faith in Action
Do what thy manhood bids thee do,
From none but self expect applause;
He noblest lives and noblest dies
Who makes and keeps his self-made laws
- Sir Richard Francis Burton
Self validation is a concept that doesn’t have much coverage for how important it is to an individual’s success. Being optimistic about life is a form of self validation. But true self validation is more than just optimism.
One kind of validation is obtained from the favor or reproach of men. Everyone is familiar with the struggle for popular appeal and the pain inflicted by a bully on one who is unpopular. God says, “fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings. For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall eat them like wool.” (2 Ne 8:7-8) Men who reject can be outside the family or within the family. It can be as big as the public condemnation that forces a CEO to resign or as small as a friend walking away in a time of intense personal distress.
Another kind of validation comes from facts. Proverbs 11:9 says that, “through knowledge shall the just be delivered.” This means that when your boss doesn’t like your work and tells you not to show it to the customer but then the customer gets wind of it, asks a lot of questions and ultimately loves what you did, then the facts validate you. This is also obvious by the fruit. Jesus said, “every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.” (3 Ne 14:17) A person may have no popular appeal as in Isaac Newton but the fruit of his labors was undeniable. He was a genius.
God gives validation in the form of blessings and encouragement. “Behold, the Lord esteemeth all flesh in one; he that is righteous is favored of God.” (1 Ne 17:35) When God tells a person that he or she did right, He does so in a way that doesn’t get the ego excited. My husband described it as crumbs along the way. It is just enough favor to keep you looking upward.
Self validation works in tandem with God’s validation. I need to know that I have genuinely earned God’s validation from Him but because He isn’t there to coach every step, I have to rely on my own validation in the meantime. Self validation is a conscious choice to believe in what God has told me and to disbelieve the reproach of men.
Gordon B Hinckley, former president of the Church, used self validation every day. One of his associates said that he repeated often the words, “Keep trying, be believing, be happy. Don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.” (Holland, Ensign June 1995. p 4) Gordon stood by his conviction that “things will work out.” He said, “I have seen a good deal of this earth…I have been in areas where war rages and hate smolders in the hearts of people. I have seen the appalling poverty that hovers over many lands….I have watched with alarm the crumbling morals of our society. And yet I am an optimist. I have a simple and solemn faith that the right will triumph and that truth will prevail.” (Hinckley, Ensign Nov 1969. p 113)
Another example of self validation is this story told about Elder Ricciardi, a missionary to Birmingham, England. “Ricciardi had a saying that has stayed with me, and will stay with me throughout my life. He would say to me, “I fear no man!” He spent his whole mission proving that slogan. Every day like clockwork 10 minutes before departure to proselyte, he would look in the bathroom mirror, point to it, and say ‘I fear no man.’ Then he would do it again with a different posture. I personally thought he was trying to make me laugh by doing it. You know… some inspirational thing for the new missionary. I soon learned he actually meant it. He was not kidding.” If you think about what Ricciardi was doing you realize that he was self validating. He was talking himself out of the fear of men. The fear was paralyzing and he was not an exception to this effect but he used his faith to create a different reality.
In the fitness world, I heard Adam Rosante, a celebrity trainer explain self validation this way. He said, after explaining the big picture of what we would do in the workout, “It starts in your mind. All of this work. It all begins in your mind. You have to see it very, very clearly. Once you see it in your mind, it can move into your body. When it starts to feel impossible, that’s when you really need to start talking to yourself. Right? Find whatever it is that is going to motivate you through to do the work you need to do. Start talking to yourself. You feel like you’re going to die in the workout. Just keep repeating to yourself, ‘I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!’ Right? And you will.” (Source: 30-Minute No-Equipment Bodyweight Bootcamp Workout minute 9:30) Rosante self validates at the hardest part of the workout and relies on the very precise picture of what he is expected to do to finish it.
I think the majority of my own negative thoughts stem from an awareness of rejection among peers and that gets repeated back over and over. I find it very difficult to continue down the very clear path that I’ve set for myself in the face of stiff social opposition. Hinckley, Ricciardi and Rosante all use a method of self validation at the point when it seems impossible. Along the way God will show up and validate me as well.
I want to share the greatest witness of all for self validation, our Savior. In John 2 it says, “Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, and needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.” Jesus could have relied on the protection of the popular crowd, but he didn’t need their approval. He was secure in his own course and he let the chips fall where they may. It is courageous to act without approval. It can hurt to be rejected by friends and especially family members. Jesus knew what that felt like. The members of his own town of Nazareth tried to kill him. He spoke the truth and by it he lived and died.